I heard this metaphor growing up, and in my case, it backfired supremely, because I went out into my neighbor’s backyard where a rose bush was growing, and the one I tested had like 30 petals (it was yellow, but definitely a rose of some kind), and as a very logical lass, I came to the conclusion that you could have premarital sex AT LEAST ten times before your future husband would even notice something was up. Moral of the story? Test your metaphors on the weirdest and most neurodivergent child you know before writing your weird religious propaganda.
As a florist I also find this hilarious too because you pretty much always need to remove four or five guard petals from a rose before incorporating it into an arrangement. If I actually handed someone a “virgin rose” they would inevitably complain about the quality because the outer petals of a rose are almost always bruised, torn, or sometimes even rotted. Not to mention the roses you can buy are the product of almost a thousand years of selective breeding and therefore not very natural themselves.
So like, be an untouched flower I guess but don’t show us all the natural blemishes that come with that?
What I’m hearing is that fucking four or five times before marriage improves your appearance and clears your skin
i buried a sword my f*ther made in my back yard YEARS ago and i live on a large plot of land and i can’t for the fucking life of me remember where, is anyone out here psychic enough to point me in the right direction, i’m getting exhausted and can only dig so many fucking holes in a day. yes i’m being serious, i want the fucking sword back
can’t use a metal detector bc junk land + lockdowns so i’m just going to dig holes all weekend until my momther starts screaming
only 46 more plots to dig
i was rly unclear so, yellow is places where there’s structures or whatever so it’s not possible for it to be there. red x is where i’ve already been :(
not pictured; mother yelling at me thru the window to fill in and re-seed the holes i’m making
i was going to take a break bc it’s hot and i’ve been playing manual-labour-battleship for going on 3 hours now, but someone just told me “there’s better lies to make up for notes xoxo” so now i ha—i Have to find this sword to deliver it personally up their ass
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA LADS WE’RE IN 34 COULD THIS BE IT AAAAAAAAAAAAA
If someone manages to trick 35 different people into thinking they’re dating, I think it should not only not be illegal, but rewarded by a public medal of some kind
